Sugar Heaven

Meet: JMG, we'll call him Sugar Heaven (his place of employement) or in his own words, "The Real Fucking Deal." I think the string of emails speaks for itself. Needless to say, I called off our date after numerous red flags. To pre-empt any questions, my responses were short and polite and never did I say anthing to lead to these stream of conscious diatribes. All unsoliticted, all 100% from the mouth of the Sug.

Kim-I'm glad you seem to get me. Most don't. This girl I just hired who goes to BU and is starting today just told me how I interviewed her friend a month ago and she is still talking about how I am the biggest douche bag she has ever met. Apparently, I said "I'm bored this interview is over" and things along those lines. Thurs would be great. That place at 7:30 is cool. I'm so impressed by using the word satiate. I dig good vocabs. I'm sure we will have a lot of fun no matter who we go to see. I don't expect everyone to be Frank Zappa and Miles Davis. Answer this though for me:1) Will you look like the 2 pics I mentioned (the one with you and the boy with the angular facial structure and your "main" pic)?
2) Have you read "Confederacy of Dunces?"


Hi Kim-Glad you resemble those pics. Yes, I resemble mine exactly. Luckily for you, I cut my hair off last week. It hadn't been but since Jan. and was starting to dread in the back even tho I wash it and condition it every day. Yuck! I got this crazy like mohawk but obviously I still have short hair on the sides and back. It is like a full faux hawk that goes all the way down the back. I am having trouble finding a product with enough hold to do what I want it to tho b/c my hair is so think. I think my weight is about the same as those pics. I wear a 34 waster (in TRs which run small) and I am 6'2" I am a tall Jew. No not a deal breaker at all. I asked b/c the main character is exactly me (or I am him). It is my fav. Not interested in joinging a book club. The only chat room I am involved with is one for people who enjoy being sexually humiliated. Totally kidding. I am comfortable meeting up with you before you have read it. Even tho you are rocking a Sox hat in one of your pics. Justin

Marijuana I believe treats glaucoma so that might be good. Normally, my style is 5'10" curvy blondes who wear glasses and suffer from bi-polar. That is not a joke. Women either love me or hate me. Everyone either loves me or hates me. Men's tennis is the king of sports. Hockey lost me after the last strike though Overchkin and Crosby and Malkin have rekindled my interest. I am from Detroit and have been to lots of hockey games seeing as Mike Ilich who owns the Red Wings and Tigers is my parents' next door neighbor. Who are your grandfathers? Baseball makes me want to castrate myself with dull sweing needles. College football and hoops and pro hoops and football are fucking great. Dieheard Lakers fan from birth. I will undoubtedly wear my #24 Kobe Bryant socks when me go out. Hockey became stupid when they stopped having all the teams play each other tho that changed this year. Like, yeah, good idea, Crosby and Ovechkin who are the faces of the NHL don't play in every city. Good marketing strategy. I occassionally rock a Tigers hat but I just like the Olde English D. It is a cute pic of you in the sox hat but baseball makes me soooo unhappy. Soccer is the best too. Int'l soccer is so baller. I would appreciate any hair product help. We'll get along famously-I'm not worried. I will maybe start watching Lost, too. Everyone has told me that I should. .moe is on very loud in my store right now (and thus blaring out onto Newbury as we keep a speaker outside). They can play the fuck out of their instruments but their lyrics and vox are such crap just like Phish. I have always worshipped the Dead but their jams are too slow. My license plate says "Zappa 1." Jimi is my all-time fav. guitarist but Zappa was much much much better than Jimi. Zappa thought Jimi was the best but I disagree. Of course any flamenco, jazz, fusion or classical guitarist would ruin
Frank and Jimi. Okay, I am just babbling. Understand tho that Trey Anastasio is GOD in my book. I worship him. Holla, JG PS All I listen to tho on the T and at home lately is Young Jeezy mixtapes. I love good Southern rap. His flow is so slow and nasty. His lyrics ar egreat and him and Lil Wayne together is unfathomably good to me. Huge Bob Marley fan too. I love that little Rastaman. PS I only listen to live music (except rap). Studio music is awful and contrived.

k i will call you after-i think i am leaving at 11:45 when the place is kicking us out. of course i have 2 take 2 Ts and a bus home. i will call tho. bout to read your articles. not telling you to have high expectations but i am the real fucking deal. the extent of my blind/online dates is the one i went on last fri and it was a total blast. jg

Yes, she was smokin hot. I will tell you about it tonight. I am going out with my top 3 a couple/few times and will make my decision. My ego was pissed when you weren't emailing me back. She took me out for Spanish Tapas and we went to my store so all my girls (all my employees are cute college girls and friends and hated my last gfriend) She is an investment banker) could meet her. I am not doing that to you. i actually had to stop in anyway regardless of whether she was w me or not. my cat also had to meet her b/c my sweet little cat, Huice, is very important and if she doesn't like a girl then no deal. btw, i am laid back as can be with girls and not aggressive. i don't try to force anything. i sit back and see what happens. i don't make it happen. jmg-

I am not hygenically challenged tho nice teeth, breath always smelling good, clean ears, etc. Lazy about shaving tho. My face that is. I will text you in a bit but we will certainly talk before this historic meeting. JG PS Do you have a Boston accent?

Hey pal-how are you at dealing with guys who have a had an absolute off the charts crazy past? i just believe in putting it out there and being like take it or leave it. wouldn't want to tell u stuff 3 months from now and have you go oh my god you did what? bye! i am a take me or leave me warts and all kind of guy. i don't play games but i am a baller. jmg as Young Jeezy (sick rapper from atlanta) says "Fuck bad bitches smoke big blunts who am I to tell you different you only live once."-
hopefully my love of jeezy and lil wayne doesn't drive you off. i am obsessed with their mixtapes right now and frequently download them all night. jmg-

Damn, I don't want to run you off. Before I tell you, in the past how have you been about accepting (guys you dated) peoples' pasts? Do you judge, etc. I have never murdered anyone, raped anyone. Shit, I've never been in a fistfight. Heres what we do. Trade 1 shocking thing for another back and forth three times. Let me guess, I have to go first? I hope you have some skeletons....I don't like people who lead a boring normal life. I like "life wrinkles." JG-

I was within 3 weeks of getting busted in Nov 98 for dealing (powder, rock (I used to cook it up and sell slabs and cookies), pills, tar heroin, pharm heroin, etc.) I mean-not standing on a street corner and selling 20s and 40s. MOVING WEIGHT. I should be in prison and my parents $ and connections might not have been able to save me. Every day is gravy for me. I should be getting raped in a cell on the regular. You'd have swagger if you beat a hard drug problem and prison both, too. You? BTW I have heard it ALL. You didn't wake up early enough to shock me.

Needless to say I had a drug problem as a kid. A bad one. A real bad one. Been tested a million times since I got clean in Nov 98 btw. No worries bout that.

Gee-thats a huge shocker. Couldn't tell. Damn me almost going to prison and having a terrible pharmaceutical heroin (IV) problem doesnt count as two? I only shot this shit called Leritine. Street dope is garbage. Didn't get me off right. Ok-Have had a number of affsirs with married women in their 40s and 50s. When i was in my early 20s i had 4 affairs with married women in their 40s. in march 07 my rship with a wealthy married jewish woman (her husband was my physician) ended. she was 57 i was 31. she was hotttttttttttttttttttt. i worte her husband a letter when he found out and apologized. jg give me something better than you had a gfriend. c'mon this is 2008 not 1946-

i have never been with a guy but i love hot guys. i have many man crushes. dont want anything physical with one tho. btw, i never accepted blow jobs and sex as payment for drugs. not once. only take cash. never fronted shit out. someone tried to pay me once with blood COVERED jewelery that they just murdered someone for. spent 20th birthday in handcuffs with a gun to my head ALL DAY after a drug deal gone wrong in a crackhouse/housing project apt in minneapolis. kids from very wealthy jewish families dont like those situations. i was crying and begging them to kill me. smoking crack with a gun to your head sucks. cant enjoy your buzz and i dont like stimulants. jmg ps did i run you off yet ms. blake? ps i love beckham, brad pitt, jude law, etc. i love hot guys. there are a million hot professional athletes esp tennis plyrs